Sunday morning I spent a good amount of time reading in the Book of Mormon. I'm at the part in 2nd Nephi that quotes a lot of Isaiah. I've come to like reading that part. I take it like poetry and don't really try to understand it. I just let whatever lines stand out to me, stand out and see what I can get out of them.
They say that Isaiah is really important. I think it goes back and forth a lot comparing the time before Christ was born to the time before His second coming (and probably a lot more!) and that's hard to follow. I kept wishing I knew more about the time period he was talking about and even what time period it was!
I read the part about the women and their tinkling toes and wanton eyes. I have before liked this part. Like a warning to not get caught up in wordly beauty, which I somehow find comforting. Some (maybe a lot?) of what I was reading talked about the punishment God gave or will give. He sounded so angry but then I thought how frustrating it must be for Him. To give us so much and we are so disobedient, proud, angry and mean.
Saturday night, Jeff and I watched a comedian on the comedy channel. He swore a lot, but it was censored (not like you couldn't tell what he was saying, but it helped). He had a lot of political/social humor. Sometimes I feel like I learn a lot or at least see things in a different way listening to comedians and Saturday night live etc. So it was good for that. But, being this channel a bit late on the weekend, a commercial came on that anytime it's come on when I'm watching it, it just freaks me out. I seriously get so mad and offended and full of anger I want to just throw the remote through the t.v. I quickly changed the channel and Jeff reassured me that there's a warning (like a the following is rated "get the kids out of the room" warning) before it comes on so you know to change the channel.
Anyway, as I read Isaiah Sunday morning, feeling like I'll never be good enough, I thought of this commercial and all the really crappy stuff that's in the world. I felt a little bit comforted that the world is an awful place and even though we've been warned as people and as a church to beware of pride and thinking "all is right in Zion," maybe these punishments I was reading about are directed at bigger things than me. And again, I somehow found this comforting.
Not comforting like "Phewf! I'm getting out of trouble." Not comforting like I'm not so bad as I think. Not even comforting like "haha, they'll get what's coming" vengeance. Comforting like... it really is a hard world we live in.
I don't know why that's comforting. But somehow it gave me courage.
1 comment:
I wish I could scroll as I comment so I don't miss anything,but..doesn't work that way.
My mother sometimes made me read that scripture of Isaiah (?) about the tinkling bells and wanton eyes, when she thought I was wearing too much make-up or outrageous clothes....which makes one wonder just how outrageous was I looking??? I didn't think it was so much... Hmm.........
I've worried lately too about being worth much or good enough. Perhaps we are so surrounded with all the crap that it's impossible to feel clean. It's an environmental affect. We are sludging along in muck. I have been reading about the history of England...way back there...and can't help wondering if some of the catastophies of those times weren't predicted in scripture,i.e. thousands of soldiers dead on a battlefield, whole countries wiped out by war and inner destruction, the Black Plague killing 50-75-% of the populations, hills and streams running with the blood of the dead. I think, hope, that as individuals, each of us is better than society as a whole and the punishments are not so singularly directed. It's good to know, as I've learned in church, that each of us has a name and is acknowledged by our Heavenly Father who realizes we are bogged down in the mire and is there to help pull us out. There is a very nice video shown in Primary yesterday about a modern miracle..true story...you should see. I'll try to get it for you.
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