My little sister has recently shared a book with me that she finds hilarious. It's called "He's Just Not That Into You." It lists excuses women give for the men in their lives that just won't commit. (I've only read the first chapter about guys not asking you out... according to the wisdom of the writers, if he doesn't, there's no explanation but that he's just not that into you).
Perhaps it's my latest crush (don't want to talk about it) that has me very defensive about it. I just don't believe it though. But isn't anything in print the gospel truth?
Sometimes I get really tired of all the "self help" and similar genre books and magazines out there. I search and search for answers. Surely someone knows better than I! But when it comes down to it, I doubt that they do. Even Dr. Phil must be taken with a grain of salt. And even your best of friends and sisters and mothers don't even really know what's going on inside of you. Perhaps we are left ultimately to figure out this life for ourselves. Perhaps that's the whole point we're here. And maybe it COULD be more fun and fulfilling that way anyway.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Monday, February 14, 2005
Day of Hearts and Love
I feel it would be sacreligious of me to not post on this of all holidays. It's always been my favorite. I long for the elementary school days... decorated boxes, paper Valentine's, and heart shaped cookies! Those were days when I could leave a secret admirer note for someone and feel completely satisfied with unrequited love. I could like someone without freaking out or worrying if he liked me back. It was a much simpler time.
This isn't a Valentine's story, but it's a good one for today. There was a boy named Roger in elementary school. I thought he was cute, but he was painfully shy and even his best friend picked on him. I always tried to be nice. One day he gave an oral book report that I thought was really well done. So, I left a note on his desk saying it was good from a secret friend. I hoped it made a difference to him. I too was shy and never really knew how to be friends with him beyond my feable attempts.
Love to all in whatever form it may come!
This isn't a Valentine's story, but it's a good one for today. There was a boy named Roger in elementary school. I thought he was cute, but he was painfully shy and even his best friend picked on him. I always tried to be nice. One day he gave an oral book report that I thought was really well done. So, I left a note on his desk saying it was good from a secret friend. I hoped it made a difference to him. I too was shy and never really knew how to be friends with him beyond my feable attempts.
Love to all in whatever form it may come!
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Chaos Theory
While walking on the machine at the gym, I had my headphones plugged in to the Gold's Gym station (they have a bunch or hanging t.v.s and you can select the channel of your choice). I chose this station because I like to listen to music, not because I enjoy the videos. I kind of just let my thoughts and eyes wander. As I did so, scenes from soap operas flashed by, even some commercials look more racey than usual when you don't hear anything with them, and the music videos of half dressed girating people. What a bunch of hooey! Then my eyes caught sight of the PBS channel. Yes, there in the gym, amongst the crap, was the BYU devotional. One t.v. had captions and I started following along, the "devil" music still blasting in my ears. Funny enough, what should the guy be talking about? Morals and modesty. Granted I was only catching words in the middle of his talk, but it too was a bit discouraging. He was talking about the clothing styles and dances of the sixties, when I imagine he was a young man battling his own hormonal levels. Now, I realize a lot of crap came out of the sixties- love fests and all. But, and again, I'm not quite sure having tuned in late, I think he was criticizing bell bottoms and the twist!?!?!
I feel there are two extremes in life. I can be the tramp on the t.v. (if I keep going to the gym that is) and show everything God or the plastic surgeon has given me. Or I can be a nun. Those of you who really know me, know I struggle with a great deal of unnecessary guilt in my life. I probably really think I should be a nun. On the other hand, I don't want to be cheap and immoral. So, I ask, where is the middle ground? Is it safe? Is it right?
Perhaps the real question is, what if you believein rules and where they are coming from, but you disagree with what they are saying. For example, in the last election we voted on the ammendment to change the state constitution to outlaw homosexuals. No matter what your moral standpoint, that felt a bit harsh. When I read the ammendment, I couldn't believe something so closed minded and meaningless. But all the commercials and sometimes even the news kept telling me that if I believed in God and being moral I would vote for this. Sure, I'm supposed to be able to make up my mind, but when they basically tell me that even the church and prophet, who speaks for God, says we should vote one way, I felt confused. (I'm sorry Ben, but I did- he thinks this is ludicrous to believe them). Why do I struggle so much in making up my own mind?
I'll tell you why. Because I believe in rules and morals and "doing the right thing." There has to be a right answer. But the truth is, the more I live it, the more I realize that real life doesn't work that way. It's chaos. No predictability. So sometimes I feel like why try? More often I ask how to make sense and come to terms with it all.
I feel there are two extremes in life. I can be the tramp on the t.v. (if I keep going to the gym that is) and show everything God or the plastic surgeon has given me. Or I can be a nun. Those of you who really know me, know I struggle with a great deal of unnecessary guilt in my life. I probably really think I should be a nun. On the other hand, I don't want to be cheap and immoral. So, I ask, where is the middle ground? Is it safe? Is it right?
Perhaps the real question is, what if you believein rules and where they are coming from, but you disagree with what they are saying. For example, in the last election we voted on the ammendment to change the state constitution to outlaw homosexuals. No matter what your moral standpoint, that felt a bit harsh. When I read the ammendment, I couldn't believe something so closed minded and meaningless. But all the commercials and sometimes even the news kept telling me that if I believed in God and being moral I would vote for this. Sure, I'm supposed to be able to make up my mind, but when they basically tell me that even the church and prophet, who speaks for God, says we should vote one way, I felt confused. (I'm sorry Ben, but I did- he thinks this is ludicrous to believe them). Why do I struggle so much in making up my own mind?
I'll tell you why. Because I believe in rules and morals and "doing the right thing." There has to be a right answer. But the truth is, the more I live it, the more I realize that real life doesn't work that way. It's chaos. No predictability. So sometimes I feel like why try? More often I ask how to make sense and come to terms with it all.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
My silly thoughts
Life is interesting to me. How much do you think we really choose in it? I think I no longer believe in fate, destiny, etc. (Sorry to be so unromantical Katherina). But I definitely believe in divine intervention.
Lately I've been thinking that there is no set path. That the things that seem "meant to be" may be answers to our prayers, but not necessarily destined answers. So maybe we need to just pray and think about the situations we're in. Maybe things change.
I've always said maybe life is an essay test, not multiple choice/ right or wrong. As long as you can reason your way through it and justify your answers, you'll get the credit. At least partial credit.
Lately I've been thinking that there is no set path. That the things that seem "meant to be" may be answers to our prayers, but not necessarily destined answers. So maybe we need to just pray and think about the situations we're in. Maybe things change.
I've always said maybe life is an essay test, not multiple choice/ right or wrong. As long as you can reason your way through it and justify your answers, you'll get the credit. At least partial credit.
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