The Pursuit of Happyness

I watched the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" over the weekend. It was depressing (and yes there's a reason it's spelled that way). I think it was supposed to be one of those inspirational, over come the obstacles movies but I found it sad and scary. Jeff said the next time I'm stressing I should think about that movie to realize we're okay, because it could be worse. I suppose the movie did get me thinking...
I've been in quite the slump lately. I find a lot of things to grumble about. I get discouraged WAY too easily. I'm simply having a hard time because my husband works grave yards and I sleep with a dog all week and lately the weekends have been rough on our time too. Blah blah blah.
The point is, I got up Sunday and wrote in my journal for at least an hour about being happy and what it means and how to get it. It was quite a good talk with myself and I felt happy. I have SO many reasons to be, so many things in my life to be happy about. I felt good all day.
I think I cried on the way to work Monday and I know I cried after work and I fought off crying during work. I realized in the morning that it's not just my attitude that needs adjusting and I felt justified in the things I had to be unhappy about. There's this and there's that and etc etc.
This morning I got mad at my husband. My first reaction was hey! wait a minute! what did you do and what were you thinking! Then, once I was awake, I didn't really feel it- who cares? But I felt like I needed to tell him that what he'd done was upsetting to me even if it wasn't the end of the world. So we talked. And I wasn't all emotional and he was in his silly and goofy mood and kind of played it off (yes that sometimes bugs me because I need to be taken seriously but sometimes it helps me put things in perspective- it's NOT a big deal). And I drove to work today thinking that maybe some things just don't need to be worried about.
My favorite little brother called me coincidentally just as I was sitting down to lunch today. We talked for some time. He is just amazing and awesome and I love and adore him. He too helps me get things in perspective.
So, between my journal, Jeff, and Ben, life looks good today. Life is not about all the crazy little things we have to do everyday- there will always be dishes to wash and bills to pay- but about the big things- family, the changing seasons, laughing and getting excited.
My new October resolution is to lighten up. Be happy. Look at the positive and quit letting myself get bogged down in the day to day stress. Somehow I think it's possible. And, if I am justified in the things that get me down, I'm going to speak up or take charge or figure them out. Happiness, perhaps, does have to be pursued.