Celebrate

JEFF SAID I CAN QUIT MY JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so excited... no, excited isn't the word. I feel such relief and calmness. It's scary to think of quitting my job when we have no other income. But since we actually made that decision, it's like I can see our life falling into place and I'm not scared anymore. I think that means it's the right thing to do.
For the last month at least, it's like I've been gearing myself up for war. I have really felt like I know what's right and I'm going to have to insist on it. To the point that I've been afraid that I will have to say this is what is right and what I'm doing and here's my back-up plan (ie. a way I'll do it on my own) if you don't want to support that. It's not like I really think Jeff would leave me because I quit my job, but somehow I just felt that fear anyway.
But, this is how it happened.
On the way to his mom's house Friday evening, Jeff said "have you put in your two weeks notice at your job yet?" It wasn't completely out of nowhere, but I can't remember what we were talking about and I'm pretty sure it didn't lead much into this. The last time we talked, he'd told me I'm going to have to go back and I started to cry and told him I didn't want to talk about it then (the baby was crying) and that I think it would be really bad for me to leave her. So, when he asked this, I wasn't sure how he meant it. I said I didn't think I could quit. He said he thought it's what we had planned on and HE was the one to tell me that it just didn't seem like it would make that much difference, we're living without my income now anyway etc. I was actually quite surprised.
I think we got interrupted because we stopped to get gas or something. Then we drove to his mom's. At some point, just to make sure it wasn't just the decision in this conversation and would change tomorrow, I asked if he was really okay with me quitting. He said he was and told me that he wants me to be home with the baby; when he talks about me working, he's just trying to be realistic. I think it's time we have some lessons in faith :)