Don't listen to the dumbs

If you can't change what you are feeling,
change what you are thinking about.
If you don't like what you see,
change the way you're looking at it.
Jeff

Emotions are weird things. So tangible, so real, so out of control, but not always very valid.

I remember thinking I was in love with someone once and waking up the next day SO free- because it didn't matter. This huge emotion we think controls lives and definitely does change lives, didn't matter. It didn't make it right or possible or, once the fog cleared, even very desirable.

I wonder if bad emotions cah work the same way. I've been struggling lately with self esteem issues. By Sunday morning, I was a wreck. Couldn't I be freed of that? Couldn't THOSE emotions not matter?

I realized the other day that I didn't lose myself recently- quite the opposite! I have found myself lately- at least another piece of the puzzle anyway. And she is just aching to get out, excited to be in this new life. But another part of me is feeling threatened by change, even if it is good change. She's the one, or the side of me, that stresses and worries and tries to control everything. She's trying to keep the new one from coming out. THAT's where this conflict is coming from. I'm not lost at all.

Jeff told me today that I'm fired from feeling stressed out. I can no longer stress out about anything ever. I might just take him up on that. It feels good.

Maybe I could live like I don't care about all those dumb things out there- because I don't! Don't listen to the dumbs!

I don't have anyone left in my life that I'm trying to impress or please or whatever- except for on incredible guy who seems to keep loving me no matter what...