Smallville and my Superman

We are now the proud owners of all five available seasons of Smallville. When I used to watch the show on t.v., my "girl crush" would have been on Chloe. She was spunky and smart and had her own fashion sense. It kind of bugged me that Clark's main interest was Lana, the pretty, soft spoken cheerleader who seemed so typical of what girls are supposed to be. Watching marathons of the show now, I "crush" more on Lana. Somehow I'm relating to her more.

In one episode, there is a love potion that the cheerleaders are using to "keep their jocks in line." Somehow Chloe gets some and she goes haywire over Clark. The potion makes it so whoever drinks it will do anything for the one they love. In one scene, Chloe wears a cheerleader uniform and is being all cutesy for Clark. In another, she is trying to be seductive.

For as cute as Chloe is, for as nothing wrong with her as there is, this look, this style, this way of acting, just didn't fit. The actress looked cute and I'm sure she could pull off the cheerleading character in another show, but the character of Chloe didn't fit. In the seductive scene, she is wearing Clark's football jersey and, I think, the look is incredibly cute and sexy. But when she starts behaving like the seductress, it almost makes me laugh.

I don't really have girl crushes on anyone. But in a way, that's what it is. When I watch t.v. shows and movies, I'm looking for role models or heros or to relate to the female characters. It's been good for me to watch Smallville because here are two completely different girls, but they are both the "hotties" of the show. It all depends on personal style and taste- for the individual as well as for the guys we think we are trying to attract. It was good to see Chloe trying to behave more like what we think we're supposed to be and see that it just doesn't fit. But, when she is just being her unique self, she is completely adorable.

Jeff and I went shopping last weekend to get some needed apparel for our trip to Hawaii. It was so much fun. We've never done that before and it was fun to share and experience that side of each other. We were looking for shorts for him, in the men's department, when I found a pair I wanted for me. I haven't worn men's shorts since high school and felt like I was reverting back to a style I tried so hard to "improve" on or even let go of. I can't actually imagine a guy wearing this pair of shorts, but I couldn't stand there with the love of my life- the guy who's supposed to think I'm cute/sexy/pretty... all those things... and say I wanted to buy a pair of guy's shorts- that's not cute/sexy/pretty... all those things. But I could see them looking so cute with the right top and I did say it to him. I went and tried them on and they were cute. Not cute in a Lana Lang, Miss USA, or even Chloe way. They were cute in a JoAnna way.

I told Jeff at some point that I feel out of touch with myself. I don't even know what I like lately. He said it's because I keep trying too hard to please other people or even change for what I think he wants. Later, standing in line, we were talking and he told me of the kind of girls he liked in high school- what they wore and what they were like. I felt like he could have been describing me. It was such a good, eye-opening thing for me! I told him what I always think he'd be attracted to and he seemed confused, maybe even offended, that that's what I think he would like. I told him of how I've tried to change since high school and he told me what he likes about me that shouldn't change. I don't know how I think- it's like I believe he fell in love with me, but he'd probably love me more if I was a little more this, a little less that... how sad that I would treat myself that way.