Journal

Haha! I found a new template. I've been thinking of just starting over with blogs... perhaps when I get married and become Mrs. JoAnna Robb... like a new start, clear out all the old ramblings. But as I've looked around, even some of the dumb and embarrassing blogs were part of the journey. I don't want to lose that, I just want a fresh look. So, here I am!

When I was eight years old, I got my first journal. Journal writing is taught as part of my religion. When I was little, it was hard to write everyday like I thought I should. I have a lot of entries that say "sorry I can't write tonight, I have to go to bed," because I thought something was better than nothing. Once I started high school, I wrote in my journal at least once a day as a way of keeping sane! For a while I even had a journal and a diary. The diary was for silly things- like boys and nonsense. The journal was for permanent things. Eventually, I learned that it was all the same. Sure, I might be embarrassed about a particular crush of the week once the week was over, but all the feelings and experiencese were a part of me. My journal and diary fused into one.

In college, one of my favorite things to do would be to find a place- my space!- to be between classes and I would write on anything I had- scratch paper, napkins, sometimes a nice notebook.

Talking to myself really has kept me sane.

It's funny that in the last year I have rarely written in my journal. When I first found interest in my fiance, I wrote a lot. But as we started dating, I guess I just didn't have time. In a way, with our marriage just weeks away, I feel bad that I haven't had more time to just think and relish in all that has happened. I've been too caught up in the wonderful whirlwind.

Blogging has been a good thing for me. I try to be competent and express something thoughtful or interesting. But some of them end up just being my thoughts and feelings o'thee day.

I decided with my last blog, that's what I need. I kept trying to pin something down. But the words on the page came out jumbled and random... but it did me so much good! Like writing in my journal used to be. I'd write, pause, stare out the window, then start writing again, wherever my mind had journeyed.

I suppose what I'm saying is, like an introduction to my new blogger phase, this is my journal. My personal thoughts and feelings. (Shouting them out on the internet?, well, maybe not quite). Being me, I need to apologize and/or preface it all with explanation. I know I don't write as well as some, I know I'm not as thoughtful as others, and I'm pretty sure my topics of thought are just down right boring or obnoxious to others. So, sorry. But it's mine... Thanks for listening and being the voices in my head.