A couple is trying to buy a new couch for their home. They go to the store and the husband picks one out. He seems to have his heart set on it, but maybe he's just being practically minded, thinking of space, cost, even the color. The wife doesn't see one she wants and feels like they should wait. The husband insists this is the only chance they have to buy a sofa and if they don't take it, they'll miss out on the incredible sale and who knows when or if they'll ever be able to get one. If the wife is okay with the one he picked, how much can she assert her feeling that she just doesn't want it? If she doesn't dislike it, but she's not real excited about it, does that give her more reason to say no? If she just cannot stand to live with it- the color, the size, the shape, whatever- does that give her even more "right" to say no? And if the husband DOES have his heart set on it, how much should that play into their decision? Which partner should give?
A couch seems like a silly thing to "fight" about. It's not going to change the world or how you feel about each other. On the other hand, it's a big piece of furniture. It takes up space, should be a place for you to be comfortable, and is something you have to live with EVERY day. That's why it's a good example- it's big and small at the same time.
I am very non-assertive. Most things, to me, are not worth fighting about. I can roll with the punches pretty well. I can be happy at whatever restaurant we choose to eat at- whether they have rolls and punch or not! But sometimes, it seems like I need to be careful. I need to have an opinion whether I do or not, whether it matters or not. And when it comes to "buying a sofa," I'm not sure what the best approach is. How do I assert myself? How do I compromise and be fair? When is it okay to insist on getting your way?
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Honey's Sweet
Last Saturday, I visited another wedding place. This one is called Log Haven and is just up the street from the last one. We drove by it after visiting the first one and thought it looked too big and we liked the first one so why bother keep shopping? But, I kept having an incling to go.
I think this is the one!
The room where the ceremony and luncheon would take place is more like an attached tent- you're outside without really being outside. The ceiling is white fabric that drapes and lets in lots of light. At the end of the "room," where we'd stand and actually BE MARRIED! is a big window right on the side of a mountain. There are trees and rocks- it's beautiful! They have poles with candles on top that aren't really candles, they are like battery operated but look like real candles. You can decorate the poles however you want with flowers etc. They even have trees inside!
The price is amazing- compared to the other place- and there are no minimums. We can have our little wedding and not worry that we aren't spending enough. There is a waterfall across the street for pictures and a pond up the road. As we sat outside waiting for it to be time to go in, I had some sort of deja vu but in the future very intense thing. It was a good feeling, but almost too overwhelming. Does that mean something? :)
On Saturday I also went and looked at MY dress. They got in the one I ordered so I got to see and touch what will really be MINE. It's beautiful. When I ordered it, they had two shades of white. A bright white and a softer, barely off white. I chose the second one. They called me a couple days later to say they'd made a mistake and it sounded like it was just the names that were different for the shades of white. I said that's fine and still went for the off white. I stopped in a couple days later and they showed me one that I was worried would look too yellow. I've always like the "ivory" color, the yellow tint is flattering to me, but I want a white dress. I was a bit concerned about it. But it was perfect! Such a soft, flowy white color. I think of it as the difference between a shiny satiny white and a matte, sheer white. I almost cried when I saw it.
I'm hesitant to say anything just yet, but also in the works are a possible honey moon to Hawaii. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii for my honeymoon. Then I fell in love with someone who doesn't like sun or warm. We've been talking about an Alaskan cruise, not knowing if maybe it would be too early in the year for that. We talked to someone who said the end of March is the wettest, snowiest time of year in Alaska and it was actually Jeff's idea to go to Hawaii. Nothing's finalized, but it's more than just talk at this point.
Four months from this coming Saturday is THE day! Can you believe it!?!?!?!
I think this is the one!
The room where the ceremony and luncheon would take place is more like an attached tent- you're outside without really being outside. The ceiling is white fabric that drapes and lets in lots of light. At the end of the "room," where we'd stand and actually BE MARRIED! is a big window right on the side of a mountain. There are trees and rocks- it's beautiful! They have poles with candles on top that aren't really candles, they are like battery operated but look like real candles. You can decorate the poles however you want with flowers etc. They even have trees inside!
The price is amazing- compared to the other place- and there are no minimums. We can have our little wedding and not worry that we aren't spending enough. There is a waterfall across the street for pictures and a pond up the road. As we sat outside waiting for it to be time to go in, I had some sort of deja vu but in the future very intense thing. It was a good feeling, but almost too overwhelming. Does that mean something? :)
On Saturday I also went and looked at MY dress. They got in the one I ordered so I got to see and touch what will really be MINE. It's beautiful. When I ordered it, they had two shades of white. A bright white and a softer, barely off white. I chose the second one. They called me a couple days later to say they'd made a mistake and it sounded like it was just the names that were different for the shades of white. I said that's fine and still went for the off white. I stopped in a couple days later and they showed me one that I was worried would look too yellow. I've always like the "ivory" color, the yellow tint is flattering to me, but I want a white dress. I was a bit concerned about it. But it was perfect! Such a soft, flowy white color. I think of it as the difference between a shiny satiny white and a matte, sheer white. I almost cried when I saw it.
I'm hesitant to say anything just yet, but also in the works are a possible honey moon to Hawaii. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii for my honeymoon. Then I fell in love with someone who doesn't like sun or warm. We've been talking about an Alaskan cruise, not knowing if maybe it would be too early in the year for that. We talked to someone who said the end of March is the wettest, snowiest time of year in Alaska and it was actually Jeff's idea to go to Hawaii. Nothing's finalized, but it's more than just talk at this point.
Four months from this coming Saturday is THE day! Can you believe it!?!?!?!
Monday, November 13, 2006
Millcreek Inn
Saturday my fiance, sister and I went to tour a place that I've been looking at online for our wedding. It's in Millcreek Canyon. I'm happy to say it was quite a pleasant experience and I (we) got quite excited. I was worried that they'd try to sell us a bunch of stuff we don't need and not listen to what it is WE want. But the woman was really nice and I think I'd pick the place just because she seemed amiable to work with, if nothing else. My only concern is, they have a food and beverage minimum price and considering we want to keep our guests to a minimum, there would be a challenge of spending ENOUGH money. Kinda weird and I'm not sure I like that. There's another place just up the road from this one that says they have no overall minimums we are scheduled to look at next Saturday.
The place we went to is called Millcreek Inn. It looks really small and you'd probably miss it if you weren't looking for it. When we first pulled up, we debated if it even looked like the picture on the website. But yes, if you focused just on the front door, you could see it. I think we all were a bit skeptical that we would be impressed. Not that it looked bad, just... quaint.
And quaint it was. It reminded me of a little log cabin, which I found incredibly charming. For the time of year of our wedding, they would set everything up inside. We really want something outside, but with the weather being unpredictable we weren't sure what to do. This place seemed to have the answer. It would be all inside, but there are windows all around. And since it's in the mountains, you feel like you're outside even though you are warm and cozy inside.
The room where the ceremony would take place is small. They'd set the chairs up at an angle and focus us at the fireplace next to the big patio doors and windows (the outside thing). Then they'd set up for a luncheon in a separate room, also with lots of windows. They would have candles everywhere, which I think is really cool. And the woman suggested for our table center pieces, getting pictures of us together or growing up. I thought that was a great idea. I wanted to make a scrap book of that to display. One way or the other, how fun!
Jeff and I are both the type of people that don't like to shop around. We like it, it's what we want, why bother? I was very excited when we left. I do however keep having an incling to go look at the other place still. We drove by it and it looks a bit bigger, which isn't a good thing to us. But over all didn't look any better or worse. Supposedly they have a waterfall- that could be a big selling point for me- but we couldn't really see anything from the road.
I'm glad we had a positive experience. I'm really excited and want to start making concrete plans and decisions. I felt like this helped me to really focus on what I want this to be like.
The place we went to is called Millcreek Inn. It looks really small and you'd probably miss it if you weren't looking for it. When we first pulled up, we debated if it even looked like the picture on the website. But yes, if you focused just on the front door, you could see it. I think we all were a bit skeptical that we would be impressed. Not that it looked bad, just... quaint.
And quaint it was. It reminded me of a little log cabin, which I found incredibly charming. For the time of year of our wedding, they would set everything up inside. We really want something outside, but with the weather being unpredictable we weren't sure what to do. This place seemed to have the answer. It would be all inside, but there are windows all around. And since it's in the mountains, you feel like you're outside even though you are warm and cozy inside.
The room where the ceremony would take place is small. They'd set the chairs up at an angle and focus us at the fireplace next to the big patio doors and windows (the outside thing). Then they'd set up for a luncheon in a separate room, also with lots of windows. They would have candles everywhere, which I think is really cool. And the woman suggested for our table center pieces, getting pictures of us together or growing up. I thought that was a great idea. I wanted to make a scrap book of that to display. One way or the other, how fun!
Jeff and I are both the type of people that don't like to shop around. We like it, it's what we want, why bother? I was very excited when we left. I do however keep having an incling to go look at the other place still. We drove by it and it looks a bit bigger, which isn't a good thing to us. But over all didn't look any better or worse. Supposedly they have a waterfall- that could be a big selling point for me- but we couldn't really see anything from the road.
I'm glad we had a positive experience. I'm really excited and want to start making concrete plans and decisions. I felt like this helped me to really focus on what I want this to be like.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Idle Babble
Sitting at work, I watch people go by in their suits and business casual clothes. Some of them are no older than I am, and I feel like just a kid. I watch them across the office, doing their business, introductions are made, they discuss who does what and then they leave, off to finish whatever task is at hand. I wonder if they are as smart as they look? Are they as confident as they act? Are they as scared of not knowing what they're doing as I often get?
. . . . . . . . .
I've been chatting via email with an old friend of mine. Sometimes I miss her and want to talk about everything. Other times, she's more like an amusement or distraction when things are slow. It's funny how it's the same old drama with her as it was several years ago; and years before that, it was the drama leading up to this.
The other day, just in her conversation, something was mentioned that took me back to when I did hang out with her and was more involved. I started thinking of things that happened, things I thought and felt, things that were said... I seriously felt like I was going to barf. I wanted to hurl, just to be rid of the whole thing. I blamed myself for being stupid, for "letting" things happen that now I wish wouldn't have. I felt hate- which is an extreme word when I actually mean it and I do here- hate for her? myself? other people? the situation? the feelings? for not being in control... for not seeing the future better... for putting undeserved faith in people...
I talked to myself a good while and worked through the feelings. I came to an understanding, a forgiveness of sorts for myself. That was a positive thing. But I just wonder, why is it so hard? Why is it hard to forgive or let go? Why did it feel like I needed to physically throw it up in order to get rid of it? Is it just me and the way I react to things? Do other people just let go more easily? I still feel embarrassment about a high school chemistry project I kinda messed up or about guys I had crushes on as a teenager and even worse, things I tried to do about it.
I have in times past, dealt with things. I think it's a maturity- to get over it. To realize you were just a kid etc etc. But sometimes... I wish things would just go away.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
My betrothed was really sweet yesterday. He just said and did a few things that reminded me he really does love me, appreciate me, need me.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
I can't believe it's November already. It's been a beautiful fall. I like it when there's a chill in the air and you have to wear a jacket outside.
I'm looking forward to the Holidays. I just like that time of year. I can't wait for everybody to come home and be around again. I have what I think is a quite clever idea for family Christmas presents this year. I need to get on it and I'm having a bit of a hard time getting it to come together. If it doesn't work out, it could be really lame.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
I've been playing on the internet a bit when I can, looking at places for my wedding. I've found one place that looks like it could be what we want AND it seems affordable! (of course, affordability could just be a relative term. I can't believe the price of some places!). It's in Millcreek Canyon (I can never remember know which canyon is which). The website looks nice. They have an outdoor ceremony place, which is a big thing we want. And they offer a lot of the extras. It might be nice to have someone take care of all of that so you make sure you have what you need! And someone else cleans up! :)
. . . . . . . . .
I've been chatting via email with an old friend of mine. Sometimes I miss her and want to talk about everything. Other times, she's more like an amusement or distraction when things are slow. It's funny how it's the same old drama with her as it was several years ago; and years before that, it was the drama leading up to this.
The other day, just in her conversation, something was mentioned that took me back to when I did hang out with her and was more involved. I started thinking of things that happened, things I thought and felt, things that were said... I seriously felt like I was going to barf. I wanted to hurl, just to be rid of the whole thing. I blamed myself for being stupid, for "letting" things happen that now I wish wouldn't have. I felt hate- which is an extreme word when I actually mean it and I do here- hate for her? myself? other people? the situation? the feelings? for not being in control... for not seeing the future better... for putting undeserved faith in people...
I talked to myself a good while and worked through the feelings. I came to an understanding, a forgiveness of sorts for myself. That was a positive thing. But I just wonder, why is it so hard? Why is it hard to forgive or let go? Why did it feel like I needed to physically throw it up in order to get rid of it? Is it just me and the way I react to things? Do other people just let go more easily? I still feel embarrassment about a high school chemistry project I kinda messed up or about guys I had crushes on as a teenager and even worse, things I tried to do about it.
I have in times past, dealt with things. I think it's a maturity- to get over it. To realize you were just a kid etc etc. But sometimes... I wish things would just go away.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
My betrothed was really sweet yesterday. He just said and did a few things that reminded me he really does love me, appreciate me, need me.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
I can't believe it's November already. It's been a beautiful fall. I like it when there's a chill in the air and you have to wear a jacket outside.
I'm looking forward to the Holidays. I just like that time of year. I can't wait for everybody to come home and be around again. I have what I think is a quite clever idea for family Christmas presents this year. I need to get on it and I'm having a bit of a hard time getting it to come together. If it doesn't work out, it could be really lame.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
I've been playing on the internet a bit when I can, looking at places for my wedding. I've found one place that looks like it could be what we want AND it seems affordable! (of course, affordability could just be a relative term. I can't believe the price of some places!). It's in Millcreek Canyon (I can never remember know which canyon is which). The website looks nice. They have an outdoor ceremony place, which is a big thing we want. And they offer a lot of the extras. It might be nice to have someone take care of all of that so you make sure you have what you need! And someone else cleans up! :)
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