I am a Rock

I've never thought of myself as a lazy person. I feel very good about myself having made it through college- it was hard and I did a good job. I have other accomplishments that I am proud of, even the ones other people might not recognize.

I have a counted cross stitch Santa Claus piece I've been "working on" for a long time. It's hard because the squares are tiny, a lot of the colors blend into the color of the canvas, and it's a rather large picture. I haven't done much with counted cross stitch before and even when I got it and started working on it, I thought I would lose interest in it quickly because the colors are subdued and it would be hard.
I like to work on things like this when I listen to conference. It helps me to focus and I remember things better for some reason. So, I got out the Santa Claus piece this last conference weekend. As I worked at it, I thought that I've never done anything hard. That doesn't make sense because I have done hard things. But... it's like I've never done anything unless I was told I was good at it or it was, at least in some way, comfortable.
I decided that I'm going to finish this piece and make it pretty and display it in my home for years. I've worked on it a lot lately. It will take a lot of time and patience. I make a lot of mistakes but then I work with them and/or fix them. I'm enjoying it greatly.

I've also started recently doing yoga. Not easy, breathe and meditate yoga; heavy duty, you wouldn't believe how much mental and physical strength and energy it takes yoga. I'm not always good at it, but I work with my mistakes, I keep trying. Everyday (it's only been a week) I feel a bit stronger. Everyday I feel better at it. And the feeling lasts all day. I feel strong and in control all day. I sit up straight and my back doesn't hurt so much at work. My mind is mine- I guess that sounds funny but I'm not nearly as bothered by the "voices" and stresses I usually hear. I'm loving it too.

I have things in my life that I've thought were there because I'm strong. Kind of like the idea that God gives challenges to his strong people not because they need the trial but because they can do good- the parents with a handicap child for example. But sometimes I worry that I'm failing. I worry that I'm not strong enough or at all. Perhaps what I don't realize is that I can make mistakes, I can try again, I can fix them or just work with them.

Today my husband talked about a possiblity for our future. It's something hard and scary. It feels like something that for some reason I go, oh, that's what I've been preparing for in my life. I don't know if I could be strong enough. But, maybe like cross stitch and yoga and all the other big and small things in my life, you just keep going. You keep trying. You decide to do a good job even if it's hard. And maybe then you will be blessed with enjoying it. With peace and happiness.