I think it's time I should change the name of my blog... but since I don't know how, it shall remain. It still fits. My current thoughts, as usual, are in the realm of love- the romantical kind. So, let's set two scenarios...
A girl named Jane meets two nice fellas. Bill is a successful guy who, like Jane, wants to get married and have a family. He has a good job and would be happy to support a stay at home mom (an important thing to Jane). He is spiritually a good guy (and for those with differing opinions, let's just say it's important to Jane that she and her husband share religious beliefs and attend the same church, not just for her, but for the future children). Jane enjoys Bill, thinks he is cute, and likes being around him. There is nothing that she doesn't like, but alas, Jane is not smitten down with love that can't be helped.
Joe is the other guy that Jane has met. They seem to be unable to help their love for each other. Jane feels complete infatuation for Joe, but Joe is not very successful. Maybe he's a good, hard worker, but he doesn't have a strong education and will never make enough money to support a family on his own, leaving Jane, the more successful of the two, to have to work to help support the family. Furthermore, Joe already has children (and so an ex-wife) and doesn't know if he wants more. Also, Joe does not share Jane's religious convictions. He believes in the same God, but that's about as far as his faith goes.
Should Jane choose Bill or Joe? In the long run, who do you think Jane will be happier with? Can she learn to love Bill? Can she learn to not love Joe? Is logic or emotion more important in this sense?
P.S. No, I am not Jane. I don't know why this question keeps coming back to me in some form. Perhaps in a future blog, I will be more personal and y'all can be my therapist and help me figure myself out.
3 comments:
Go with Joe. Some people never find love and to throw it away based on something as faulty as human logic would be just plain in?un?grateful.
Religious convictions and having kids can be really, really HUGE deals. I think it is important to be logical about decisions of the heart, so these issues may demand serious consideration. Whether Jane likes it or not, there will be plenty of times in life where she is looking through her logic rather than her heart, and it's important she still be very happy. I think you can be happy from both perspectives, and, personally, I would think it would be well worth the wait.
Still, if Jane loves Joe enough, she probably won't care about any of the issues you've brought up. That is to say, she will consider Joe worthwhile despite what she's giving up. That won't necessarily make it easy on her or make those issues into non-issues, but she won't really consider giving up Joe. Not really really.
But here's the thing to remember: Jane can probably fall deeply enough in love with Joe to give up her desires for children and religion, but that doesn't mean she "should" stay with him. It just means that, with certain people, you can probably fall really deeply in love (given time). But she can probably find that with someone else, to be honest. So it's a matter of patience. Is having kids with someone she's madly in love with worth waiting for? Or would she rather be madly in love with someone now and not ever have kids with him? That's a better assessment of the situation, perhaps. Maybe, just for a minute, Jane should forget whether or not this person is Joe.
And another thing -- if they are both in love, why must Jane be the one to sacrifice her dreams for the relationship? Why doesn't Joe think, because of his love for Jane, that maybe he DOES want (or at least would be willing) to have kids?
Aah, my so insightful friends. I think it's interesting how the answers seem to vary with experience and age. I'm glad you would share!
I was thinking that perhaps the problem with Jane is, she thinks it has to be Bill or Joe, and doesn't consider that perhaps neither of them is "right."
It was interesting my own thoughts as I tried to put into writing/words something that my mind and heart keep mulling over. I'll save that for a future blog! Hopefully I won't have to make a decision like Jane. Does anyone think that sometimes things weigh on your mind so that you make the decision BEFORE you're faced with the situation?
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