I recently watched a televsion show about a girl who got dumped. She is about 25 and works in New York (of course) and decided to make this into a learning experience. She asked her best friend if she is just bad at relationships. She then decided to ask the guy what she did wrong so that she could do better the next time. Well, of course this did not go over well.
Kiki, my 16 year old sister, and I recently discussed an online quiz she took about being good at dating. A friend of mine recently got married. She is one of my most favorite people in the world and I kind of watched the whole relationship grow, from her side of things anyway. There is no doubt in my mind that she fell in love with her guy, almost right away. I know he too fell for her. But sometimes I couldn't help but think that my friend is just really good at dating.
I however, probably suck at it. I just want to meet a guy, develop a friendship that also has that twiterpated, butterfly thing going on, and fall deeply in love. Once in a philosophy class, my instructor asked if we fall in love or if we jump. When he "picked on" me to answer, I said I think we walk really close to the edge and hope for something to push us in. This, he thought, was brilliant.
I don't really know what attracts me to the people I find myself attracted to. I have fallen somewhat recently for guys that when things didn't work out, I later thanked my gaurdian angels for wathcing over me (okay, really I thanked God for answering my prayers with a NO). How could I be so stupid to fall for such losers??? And then, there have also been a few that apparently have fallen for me (who wouldn't given the chance!?) that I just could not return the sentiment to. My most recent "crush" is an adorable guy that we'll just say is out of reach for now.
Being single and also having worked recently with the youth of my church, it seems that my particular religion loves to give lessons on morality and marriage and dating. Even here there seem to be so many rules. Like I think I've been taught to create a checklist and when you find someone who meets most the requirements, that is love.
So, I ask, what is this thing called love? Is dating really such a game- am I supposed to know how to "snatch" a guy and make (or trick) him into loving me? Is there really such thing as falling in love?
P.S. To my fellow bloggers, I know some of you are or have been in love, so please share your thoughts. Also, I tend to get lost easily while trying to read and respond to yours and I'm always in a hurry, so don't take it personally when I'm so slow at playing blogs!
1 comment:
Not to rain on the romantic parade here, but let me tell you what I think. I think it can be, to a degree, dangerous to expect it to be too perfect. That's not to say there isn't giddiness and crushes and so on -- in fact, I think those things can last forever (I have conclusive evidence that it can last for at least 5 years, and I'm very optimistic about the future). But, I think there's always the possibility that if something doesn't go perfectly perfect all the time, a devout romantic may question things more than they should.
Now, as for myself, I never expected things to go perfectly. But I think maybe I expected the imperfections to be perfect imperfections, if that makes sense. And that imperfections would be perfectly perfected given our perfect love. Then again, it wouldn't surprise me if I have a tendency to be unrealistically optimistic sometimes, and that probably doesn't help. So maybe that's a whole other issue altogether.
But in a nutshell, I truly believe that the less of an idiot you are, the more difficult of a time you will have in finding someone. Or at least the more rare your soulmate is going to be. Still, I strongly doubt it will not happen. Yes, it will most likely take some action on your part, but as long as you're not a hermit, I think you're probably going to be okay. And I am 1000% grateful to be where I am at with the love of my life. I wouldn't want to go back to the supposedly "giddy" beginnings. And I don't think it's because I didn't have giddiness or something. I think it's just so much cooler and more fulfilling and more wonderful and exciting and beautiful and giddy and awesome to know someone so well and to be known by them so well. And, on top of it, to be known so well and still be adored and cherished? Wow, that's the coolest thing imagineable! I love it here.
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