Today I read an article (how many blogs do I start this way?) saying that during recessions, people have fewer babies. Because of our current economy, many people will put off having a baby, whether they have any yet or not.
It was a depressing read and scared me to death to be having a baby right now. How are we going to afford it? It got me thinking ahead to high school fees and dates and clothes and college, not to mention just the here and now need for diapers and feeding one more person. I actually felt stupid for making this choice so irresponsibly.
This article also scared and depressed me because it says a whole lot about the world we live in. I believe that the greatest thing God gives and asks of us is family. Our ability to love another person and share a life and then to grow a family and have children from that union? That's the greatest thing on earth. It's what we are here for. Simply put, He told Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth. Eve even said that had they not left the Garden of Eden (think of how simple and good their life was there) they would never have known the joy of family.
So, when things get hard, what's our first reaction? To turn to God and do what He's asked and be humbled? Oh no. Our first inclination is to struggle on our own and stop doing the things He's asked us to. That is darn scary!
Not that I'm judging. As I said, I was plenty scared reading this article myself and wondered if we'll ever have more than one baby and what I'll do with her once she's here. And that's my question. How do we go forward with faith? Sometimes I've looked at groups of people or even an individual here or there that I've known and thought "wow, you really need to learn to think for yourself and use a bit of common sense." So, in these hard economic times, what is using common sense and what is going on faith?
Right now, I can't imagine not returning to work simply for the fact that I'm scared of living without health insurance when I have a baby. What if something happens to her? I need to be able to take care of her. Not to mention I have to eat well enough to breast feed, hoping that all goes well, and that will only last so long before I have to buy food for her. Oh, and diapers and... What are we going to do?
And yet, I can't imagine leaving my baby to go to work, no matter how desparate a need we have. Plus, I know it's the right thing to do. Do I just take that leap? I believe God helps us and provides for us; it's just that nagging question of "but how much does he ask of us first?"
I've always heard stories of people paying their tithing even when it was the only money they had and they needed food and then they are provided for. I've always wanted to have that kind of faith, but when it comes my turn to show it, am I really that strong!?
A while back I started writing a blog but I don't think I ever finished/posted it. I'd read some articles in the Ensign about people doing the right things even when it was hard. Like paying tithing and planning on going hungry. Or spending their life savings and risking losing a job to take a once in a life time trip to a temple in a neighboring country. I love those stories and have always wanted to have that faith. As I read I realized I might not even recognize my opportunity to show that kind of faith in my own life. I realized that all our financial struggles and the decisions we're making because of it are my test. I've always believed so much in being home with my babies. It's like because I've had that belief, it makes sense that it won't be an easy thing for me to do because I have to prove that I really do mean it. So, here I am. Do I have the faith? Do I REALLY know it's right to the point that I'm willing to leap?
4 comments:
I think there's a different view before you leap as opposed to after you've made the leap. Taking the leap...the before view...is always difficult. You have to have faith. You can't really see what comes next. But if you'll keep in mind that the Lord is there with you, you can trust in Him, then maybe it won't be so scary. Good blog.
My little man is almost a year old now. It was about this time last year that I was working full time, my husband was unemployed, and I had no idea how we were going to make it once the baby was born and I wasn't going to work. My husband had been out of work for months and I had no idea how it was going to work out.
I decided to take maternity leave because I didn't know if I would have to return to work so we could survive.
When my baby was born, I knew I needed to be home with him, no matter what the cost. The state provided health coverage for him when my maternity leave was over. WIC paid for nutritious food for me and formula for the baby. My husband got a job working for a temporary company doing warehouse work even though he didn't like it.
Things worked out. We are now doing very well. Steven has been blessed to have a job that pays well. It has been a miracle to see him working hard and enjoying it.
I had to fight to stay home. It would have been easier to go to work and blame my circumstances on the need to survive, but my baby would have suffered, and my husband wouldn't have grown.
Maybe the answers to your trial of faith are in front of you, but you have yet to recognize the sacrifices that will be necessary for it to work out.
It WILL work. The bishop can provide you with food. Good food at that. Your baby will have medical coverage if you take maternity leave, or you get help through the state once you aren't working. Your husband can work a lousy job to pay rent. If you have food and shelter, what more can you ask for?
Have Faith that it will work. Faith is unwavering belief. Do not waiver in your belief that Heavenly Father will open doors so you can be home with your precious child. He has made promises over and over again that he will provide. Trust Him. That is true faith, and it requires you to move forward with confidence despite not seeing the road ahead. Be open to the input of the spirit and to all different avenues. Don't you dare con yourself into thinking that your family is better off if you work. No health coverage or money will ever compensate for the lost hours and days of nurturing that baby. You need it, and she needs it.
YOU ROCK!!!!!
P.S. YES, I DO think you have the faith to make that leap. You are really an extraordinary woman! I love reading your posts!
emily...I just don't know how to tell you how grateful I am that you are here for JoAnna. You have information and say all the right things. She has been so blessed to know you. You're an angel.
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