Book Report

I tend to go through phases where I read nothing for months and then I become insatiable from my fasting. I read everything I can get my hands on. My most recent books include “A Room With a View,” “ Like Water for Chocolate,” and I am in the beginnings of “The Cinderella Rules.”

“A Room With a View” is a classical, turn of the century novel full of propriety and rebellion. A young woman travels to Italy with her maiden cousin. Italy soon becomes the symbol of all we yearn for in life- passion, art, love. The cousin remains, until the very end, the carrier of rules, stigma, and good manners. The major conflict comes in the main character’s battle with herself: to give up everything for love and happiness, even just recognizing what love is and what will bring her happiness, or to marry into the polite society?

“Like Water for Chocolate” also takes place in a very traditional society. The major conflict here is also within the main character’s desire for love and passion. She is trapped by a tradition as the youngest daughter being doomed to care for her mother until she dies. Thus, she is forbidden from marriage and treated quite as a Cinderella.

Which brings us to my last selection, “The Cinderella Rules.” I am currently reading it and so far it is about a woman in modern times who lives on and runs her grandfather’s ranch. This is much different than the society of her father and sister- NY and DC business and politics. She is sent back home- to the DC area- by her little sister to act as a social ambassador to a man with whom her father needs to complete a business deal. This trip includes an almost extreme make-over. And first thing, of course, she meets a man and there is instant attraction, not to mention a quite detailed make-out scene.

In all three stories, a young woman is challenged by her upbringing and her sudden found love (or is it lust?). I found “A Room With a View” to be wonderful, as far as those old books with big words and long descriptions can be to someone with as simple a mind as I have. The salvation of the book, which I DID enjoy greatly, comes from the forbidden lover’s father- a wise old man who knows what it means to live- and his long speeches about life. The first kiss between the main character and her forbidden man is so innocent and so brief in description, I was almost disappointed. If it weren’t for the reaction of the cousin and the drama and intrigue brought on by her, it would have been completely lacking. “Those were the days” and a simple kiss (I think it mentions later that it was on the cheek) threatened virtue and good standing. I loved the ending, still simple and innocent, but full of passion and feeling. I won’t say much about that and spoil it for anyone who hasn’t read it.

“Like Water for Chocolate” was delightfully written. The main character is only allowed to express her love through creation of food- the only way to touch her lover’s body and soul. The “kissing” scenes in this book were rather brief, but not so innocent. Un-innocent enough that I am reluctant to let my 16 year old sister read it. Simply because it may cause too much delight! (Oops, I forget that mother is watching). Unlike another recently shared novel, “The Birth of Venus,” which follows the same story line I’m discussing and has very graphic sex scenes (but only two! I just had a Sunday school lesson on that excuse)- this book is somehow more… full of innuendo, which embarrasses the innocence I see my baby sister as having, albeit naively (knowing that most of you are probably more concerned with my innocence than hers!), more so than “The Birth of Venus.” Still, I would recommend this novel to anyone besides my sister and mother because it is so well written- fanciful, super-natural, and still very realistic in it’s presentation of the human heart.

Now, for “The Cinderella Rules.” A modern story, set in modern times, complete with modern values, or lack thereof. While I’m completely enjoying the characters and the silliness of a modern Cinderella story, I don’t know that I will continue because of it’s lack of innocence. And here is the point of this blog. How come it’s so different than the other two books? It seems obvious- this one is more descriptive of physical rather than emotional feelings. It’s more about someone I would know or be than someone of bygone eras and other cultures, so perhaps it’s more realistic. And yet, these seem like trite Sunday school answers.

As most of you have seen, I have a work of art in my living room. It portrays the back of a woman, covered only waist or hip high by a blanket. It is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. It depicts everything I want to be- soft, feminine, graceful, confident. I find nothing wrong with it, but I’m embarrassed to have anyone from the ward come over or my brothers.

I have this art unabashedly displayed in my house, my home- my expression of the world I am trying to create. But I will say with complete disdain that pornography is the most vile thing I can think of. It hurts me at the very root of my soul when people say it’s just what guys do. It’s something I could never tolerate in a boyfriend or husband. Not because I’m pious, but because it hurts my senses and emotions so deeply and easily. Again, the difference seems obvious, but I’m sure BYU would ban my painting on the grounds of the very reasons that I find pornography to be so distasteful.

I’d like your comments- not just on the sex/pornography and art issue, but on the sensitivities of the human spirit. Why do some things offend and not others? Why do some things scare me spiritually and not someone else? Why do some things that are by definition “wrong,” not bother me? Why do others, without anyone having to define it, shake my innocence and proprieties naturally and not because I was socialized to think it? Can I trust that as my conscience and good judgment? Am I wrong in what is not offensive?

How Convenient

I've been thinking lately of things we do for convenience and realizing how lazy I am! How hard is it to make oatmeal? Not hard at all, and yet, it's so much easier to make the instant kind- heat the water in the coffee pot, it's ready when I am with no dirty pan to clean, I don't have to get out the sugar, the instant kind is already flavored, and all I have to do is stir! (It's expensive though and I uaually eat plain oatmeal because it's healthier, I guess). I use shampoo/conditioner in one because it's so obnoxious now to have to wash AND condition my hair. I buy canned fruit a lot and much to my happy surprise, they now make lots of canned goods with pop tops- no can openers to bother with! Yea! I even go out of my way at stores with automatic sliding doors because it's easier than opening one myself!

My not so personal personal life

Well, as most of you now know, because people like to talk around here and not because I told you, Mom has a friend that she thinks I should meet. We have emailed twice. That's not the point. The point is, that I am hearing that some of the men in my life, Dad, Stephen, and even Benny, are being quite... protective? defensive? I suppose that should be a compliment. And I suppose that it's good to have people watching out for me. But really...

I tend to make other people's opinions matter more than my own. So please, give me a chance to formulate mine before I have to think yours. And, how am I ever going to meet someone if everytime there is even a remote possibility, everyone gets all bristled? Trust my judgement a bit, but thanks for looking out for me. And really, slow down, calm down, it's only the beginning of who knows what!

P.S. This is why I don't usually talk about things and y'all think I have no life! Haha.

Crayola Crayons

I once read an article in a church magazine about a girl getting ready to start kindergarten. As part of the process, she and her mother met with the teacher and she had some evaluative tests. For one of the tests, the teacher asked her to pick her favorite color from the crayon box and write her name. The little girl sat there for quite some time unable to do it. The teacher moved on to something else. The mother was confused, knowing that her daughter knew how to write her name. Later, she asked her about it. The girl said it was because her favorite color wasn't in the box.

The point of the article was that sometimes we have to take what life gives us and do our best with it. Color our world with the crayons in the box rather than waiting for the colors we really want.

This is all fine and good, but I realized over the weekend that I have been painting a really dull picture, pretty much since I graduated from college (can you believe it's been almost four years!?) I'm not being cynical; my life is good and I'm doing/ have done a lot of what I wanted to. What I mean is...

It's like I've arrived. As a kid, I imagined growing up and going to college. Growing up and being a teacher. Growing up and dating, getting married, having babies. Now that I've done some of those, what do I look forward to? And the things that haven't happened? I keep looking back wondering what did or didn't happen. What chance I missed, etc. rather than believing that it's still out there to find and do. It's like walking backwards. I'm stepping into the future, but looking at the past.

I felt I found some hope, at least for a moment, that there is still a lot of growing up to do and goals to accomplish and daydreams to have. That was very freeing. If I can at all believe in destiny, mine is still there- out there, not behind me or encrypted in a secret message I must have misplaced in my life. Destiny is not something you finish or accomplish; it's something that you live and constantly do.

Right?