Perfection

One of the worst questions someone can ask, especially on a date, is "what do you like to do in your free time?" Which is really quite silly because there is so much I like to do I barely have time for anyone but myself. So why does my mind go completely blank when someone pops the question?

I think it's because I seek perfection. I cannot admit to liking to do something if I am not perfect at it. And what am I perfect at? Not much. Teaching algebra? Probably not even that. And who would want to hear about it even if I was?

Quandaries

Yesterday I sat somewhere on campus between the public transit station and the math building. One of my favorite parts of campus! The air was cool and smelled like fall and I took a minute to watch the leaves grow. I remembered just how much I wanted to be back at the University. However, when it came time to head for class, I just didn't want to go. I wanted to hide, run, cower. Sometimes I really want to be smart. But, I thought, sometimes I just want to know stuff. And math isn't something you know. It's something you do. I don't know if I want to DO this anymore. I wish I could just absorb knowledge... all these fascinating elements of life, science and poetry. Maybe I'm not meant to be a great artist. Maybe I just want to go to the museums. Is there anything so wrong with that?