Monday, May 23, 2005

I feel pretty- oh so pretty

The other day I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and for one brief moment (very brief!) I actually felt love for my body. Not for health and strength and lack of disformity or handicap. But genuinely, I loved how my body looked.

This has happened once before in my entire life. I was at the gym by mom’s house. At that gym they have a women’s weight room that I liked to go in because there was more privacy etc. I always wore a t-shirt over a tank top thing over a sports bra (trying to contain it all, y’know). In the weight room, I sometimes took off the t-shirt because seeing myself in the mirrors helped me to concentrate on the muscles and see how things were changing. One time, sitting in the seat of one of the machines, I looked in the mirror and was actually happy about the way my body curves. It wasn’t (still isn’t) tight and small and toned. But I am strong and healthy… and curvaceous and soft. I liked that I looked like that.

Even typing this here, I feel like I should apologize or at least acknowledge that yes, I know I have a round belly and I’m larger than a lot of women. And that’s the point. These moments only last a moment. Because we're not allowed to love our bodies. If you’re skinny, you should be curvier. If you’re fat, you’re fat. If you have big boobs, you should wear a minimizing bra. If you’re small you should wear a padded one. Okay, fine, I’m all for self improvement. And there are health reasons to lose weight yada yada. I get it. But it’s like against the rules to actually love yourself physically.

My problem is, I let other people’s opinions get in my way. How can I love myself when voices keep telling me not to?

8 comments:

JAP said...

You have a very nice blog.

JAP said...

I'm afraid you're not be able to read my blog posts. Anyway, it's about music.

JAP said...

Just to answer your (self) question: love yourself.

JoAnna said...

I saw a great commercial today. It was for Dove body lotion. It showed different women of diffent shapes, sizes, colors, and ages. I thought it was beautiful. I like their ads- a campaign for real beauty. I think I shall start buying their products. I know, they are just telling me what I want to hear to sell me their stuff. But, at least they are telling me what I want to hear and I wouldn't mind supporting that!

AndyOfVermont said...

I follow Benny's blog, so clicked over here from a comment to see who you were. Perfect opportunity to put in a cent or two on this topic, from the male perspective. Obesity never looks good, but outside of that, I think the only problem is when women attempt to alter their natural shape somehow (in other words, phooey both on pads and minimizers). Wear what flatters your natural shape, and you'll look good. I'm not sure where the idea that skinny is best came from, but it wasn't from men, that much I know. I guess it must be Hollywood and maybe the star magazines. I suppose some prefer it, some don't. Not that you should be trying to impress us men either. Keep working out... its good for you and will make you feel good. Even having a goal for a size you are striving for is great. But I hope you can learn to enjoy how you look every day, not just this time.

AndyOfVermont said...

I follow Benny's blog, so clicked over here from a comment to see who you were. Perfect opportunity to put in a cent or two on this topic, from the male perspective. Obesity never looks good, but outside of that, I think the only problem is when women attempt to alter their natural shape somehow (in other words, phooey both on pads and minimizers). Wear what flatters your natural shape, and you'll look good. I'm not sure where the idea that skinny is best came from, but it wasn't from men, that much I know. I guess it must be Hollywood and maybe the star magazines. I suppose some prefer it, some don't. Not that you should be trying to impress us men either. Keep working out... its good for you and will make you feel good. Even having a goal for a size you are striving for is great. But I hope you can learn to enjoy how you look every day, not just this time.

JoAnna said...

Thanks Andy for stopping by (not that you're reading this now). I think you said my point. I shouldn't have to be surprised that nothing is wrong with me! Here's to all the beautiful people! :)

The Damsel said...

You know what? Study art. So many people have shown beauty in all it's many forms, and strangely enough, its allowed me to appreciate my own fine self. The human body is gorgeous-not (as you mentioned) only from its abilities, but to look at. Check out Odilisque, the bather by Degas, Le petit Dejuner by manet, The birth of Venus by Botticelli, David by Bernini, ancient greek statuary, Anything by Rubens...anything you can find. We as a species are gorgeous!!!