I read Melanie's blog about women and make-up and socialization quite some time ago and have thought about it almost every day since.
In some ways I completely agree with her. I look through magazines or watch t.v. and you can define what it is to be hot: long smooth hair, polished shaped nails, skinny body, and short skirts with big boots. I hate this. It completely takes away from the individuality of women! We are all beautiful in our own ways. It's a cliche, but if only we could look and see that it is true!
I used to go to Jazzercise religiously. I loved it. There were old women, young women, fat ones, skinny ones, short hair, long hair, big butts, no boobs, big boobs, no butts. The beauty there was incredible- in all our sweaty leotards and workout wear. It was awesome. I see this now in Relief Society in my single's ward. So many different and wonderful women! How can anyone possibly look at any of them and say there is any thing wrong with them! I used to love being in primary because kids are wonderful. All their little personalities and physical differences. I never looked at one and thought they were fat or I didn't like their coloring or whatever. But that's what we do with ourselves and each other all the time.
I started wearing make up in the seventh grade. Do you know how young that is!? And it wasn't because it was fun or cool, it's because I thought I was ugly and the first day I wore it to school everyone told me how pretty I was. Yes, I did the end of the 80's big bang hair-do as well. I lived in fear of anyone seeing me without the whole get up. I was 12 for crying out loud! I remember one time Gina's aunt (a year older than I) coming over and we were both so self concious about our flat, undone hair. Isn't that sad? Truly. Look at a 12 year old kid one day and think of that young person hating how she looks, thinking she isn't good enough to leave the house without making herself up. That is truly tragic.
I'm much better now. I go to the gym very ugly when I'm not coming from work. I wear sweats to the grocery store. I even leave the house and once in a while, heaven forbid, go to work without make-up. Because I accept myself. Because being in college I realized that people still recongnize me without the mask. AND they still like and respect me.
Now for the other hand...
I hate it just as much that when I dress girly or want to wear make-up, I feel over done and pretentious. I hate that women aren't supposed to have curves- think of the flat chested, polo shirts and khaki pant wearing girls I encountered in high school. Suddenly the granola, preppy, no make up look was in. And what was I to do? I still didn't like the way I looked without make-up and felt better presenting myself a bit fixed up. Now a days, it seems like the best dressed and most professional looking people wear only black. I don't look good in black and like to wear color. Straight hair is in but my hair curls naturally so beautifully and easily! And finally, I'm getting comfortable wearing girlie frilly stuff and I actually like putting on make-up in the morning (most days!) But now, this stuff isn't trendy enough. And the other day I felt the other extreme: my femininity is being taken away!
Of course the best thing is to do what makes you feel good- authentically, not in a socially accepted way. Easier said than done!
One last thought to throw out there. Not to bring him up again, but I read Dr. Phil one time saying that whether it's right or not or acceptable or not (and he wasn't letting men off the hook or giving full reign to the horn dogs) men are visually stimulated. He told women to use this to their advantage and take care of themselves. Fix yourself up once in a while for your guy. I kind of agreed. Sorry Mel (smiley face).
I also saw on Oprah (yes I watch too much t.v. lately) a show about women around the world. What they do, how they dress, their lifestyle. Several women in other countries said they can't believe how sloppy American women are. In other places, women always look feminine and dressed up a bit. Now, I'm all for Levi's and a big t-shirt or wearing my sweats on the weekend. But honestly? I was impressed by the presence of these women. The way they were presenting themselves to the world, their families, themselves. They were WOMEN!
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