One Thought Leads to Another

And I found myself thinking about the first time I met my sister in law. Ben and Melanie took me and Khrystine to the Spaghetti Factory. I remember looking at Ben and just seeing him differently than I ever had. I think it's normal for big sisters to have a sort of crush on little brothers and I've always adored Ben. We've always been so close and I'd seen him in social situations and imagined when we grew up and were married, but this was the first time I guess that I'd seen him in a dating/love kind of thing. He was wearing a polo shirt. I remember it as light blue or white, but then as I really tried to remember I think it might have been marroon. It was kinda like seeing him as a date would see him. He looked so cute and I watched him talk and joke and even though I don't remember them holding hands or even touching, I watched the way they interacted. It was really neat.
I remember I really liked Mel's hair and I wondered how she got it so straight and shiny. It was (is) such a beautiful color. I also remember thinking she looked a lot nicer or more approachable than I expected. I don't know why I thought that- it's not like I thought she'd be mean or anything and I don't really know how to explain it. It was probably just me being nervous or something. I don't even know what I expected. She was so open and friendly and good at asking questions and making conversation.
I really miss Ben and Melanie. I say that all the time on their blogs but I wonder if they know how sincere and deep it is. Sometimes I want so bad just to talk to Ben or take a long Sunday drive and sing to the radio and do "car-obics." To tell Melanie how I feel because I know she'll get it. And they are so far away.
I've only held or hugged Eddie a few times in his little life and never yet met Peter. I want to hug them and hold them and tickle them. I remember when I was little, I didn't know that aunts and uncles could really love you. As I got older, I've grown close to my mom's sisters, but I wonder if I'll be like that to Eddie and Peter and it makes me kinda sad.

Which brings me to James. We've always been really close. Thankfully, he never hit the age where it's not cool to hug his auntie. But I miss seeing him everyday, being there to hold him when he's sick or hurting. He probably doesn't "just talk" to me quite like he used to because now his life is full of very grown up things. That's okay. That's good. I just miss him. I'm glad that he does hug me when he sees me.
And Gina. What a brave, amazing girl she is. I always worried about her "upbringing" and just look how great she's turned out! She is one of the smartest, most level headed and pulled together people I know. I love talking to her as a friend and not just a kid.
And now she has a kid! And a good husband. And I just want to love the baby.
It's amazing how much love can fit inside a person. And this isn't even half of the people I care so much about...