Thursday, March 27, 2008
Confirmation of Change
The funny thing is, when I freed myself to feel anger and admit I'm mad or sad or hurt, I could let go of it and be happy. Instead of fighting it, I acknowledge it and give it a name or somewhat of a voice. And then, I don't have to carry it around and wonder what to do with it and what it is and if it's bigger than I am or smaller than I'm making it. It's just there, deal with it, then it's over. No change needed.
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3 comments:
Your posts are kind of ironic as they deal with some of the same things we've been going over with Shae in his therapy he goes too. He learned the congative triangle, where you descern your feelings from your thoughts and they you see point. In any particular event you have the following triangle A= your thoughts, B= how you feel about those thoughts regarding the situation and C= what actions you take based on your thoughts and feelings. So, example like with Shae... Hunter gets on his nerves,
A= Hunter is so annoying B= it makes me frustrated and angry C= I lash out or am rude to him.
Take the same situation and change your thought...
A= Maybe Hunter is bored or wants my attention
B= that makes me feel important and needed
C= I find something constructive I can do with him or something for him to do so he's not bothering me.
The therapist pointed out that the situation or event didn't change, only or thoughts and feelings.... so if we can take a step back and re-evaluate a situation maybe we wouldn't be carrying around such heavy loads...
I really like what Heather said,and I think it is what's needed. It also offers a lot of control, mostly over ourselves. And jak, you have the same idea with saying "when you freed yourself to feel...You could let go of it and be happy." Isn't it ironic that those who seem much more happy-go-lucky in life also appear able to own-up and then let go with relative ease. It seems that, in this family,anyway, some of us put a lot of work into 'feeding the monsters' and keeping them alive and happy. We really need to lighten up and let go.
some of those monsters are as familiar to us as our old blankies or teddy bears. There's an insecurity to parting with them even though we know it's in our best interest and when we do set them aside we do tend to feel freed. But somehow, sometimes and in someway they always seem to sneak back in, we just need to have the courage to not cling to it like we did before...
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