Saturday, Jeff and I were playing his game, World of Warcraft. It's an online game where you make a character, choosing professions, hair color and style, race (orcs, gnomes, elves), etc. You receive quests and earn rewards and money. You can work alone or get in groups with other actual people also playing the game on the internet. It's quite complex and a lot of fun, when I don't get frustrated.
Sometimes people chat, not in their own groups but on the general chat where everyone can see and is intended for people to find groups, advice, etc and their conversations get a bit... naughty, for lack of a better word. I've never seen anything really "bad," but they get kind of silly (I think a lot of the players are teenage boys so you can imagine what they get joking about). What really bothers me is when girls, as their characters, decide to dance in the town naked (the characters don't get completely naked, but you can get them down to their underwear. This is necessary (?) when, for example, you decide to get rid of a character but want to send your hard earned armor to a new/different character). The really silly thing is, 12-14 year old boys get excited about this. It's a cartoon game character!
Another activity on the game is battlegrounds. You or your group can sign up to do a battle. There are two sides, allied and horde. The battleground I've been able to do (I don't get leveled very high) is like Capture the Flag. It can be a lot of fun, it can also get very frustrating. People higher level than you can often wipe you out so fast you hardly get to play.
Anyway... I will get to a point eventually... Saturday we were playing battlegrounds. I was frustrated and in a bad mood from other things. One girl came along and wiped me out and had a name that was just dumb. Her name was Beermaiden and I kind of lost my cool. What kind of a "lady" or maiden is so happy about beer that she would name herself that? Not that I even care if people drink etc. I was being quite judgemental but it just reminded me of people I've known/do know that getting drunk and partying on the weekend is what they live for and I'm a prude or boring because I don't. I just got so defensive and upset over it. Jeff understands and is glad for my lack of partying but he really doesn't get why I care what other people do. I tried to explain that I was feeling a need to defend myself against judgement when he pointed out (thanks by the way, I needed to have it pointed out) that I was being judgemental in exactly the same way I was feeling a need to defend myself against.
I've been trying to think of my judging and getting past that, but that's another post entirely.
Last night we again played some battle grounds. Again a girl came along, this time on our team, with a name that just irked me. I won't share it, but it was something that could be taken to be very... risque? we'll say. Or maybe it wasn't, it's just that I live with a boy and, of course, my boy thought it was funny, didn't take it personally and went on to play the game. Just as I'm being offended, again, in my "judgemental" way... along came Beermaiden and killed me off.
I was again very upset and defensive. Jeff again thought I was too concerned with what other people are doing and I shouldn't let it bother me. He even said something that hurt my feelings. This morning I tried to explain how I feel, so that he gets that I'm not just being judgemental or prudish etc etc. He explained that he got upset seeing me upset when there's nothing he can do and it came out wrong. We're good that way. That, again, is not the point and would be another post.
My point is...??? When I see someone on the game with a name that makes boys think things, it's not just someone else doing their thing and I shouldn't let it bother me. They are talking to my sons, my nephews, my brothers, MY HUSBAND! should they happen to be playing the game and all they have to do is see her walk by and read her name (the names float above the characters' heads). Then it IS my business. And why should I not be offended that things that matter to me, my thoughts, opinions, values, things I try to treat with a certain respect, etc are treated so horribly? And, more importanly, HOW do I not let it bother me?
I hate closed mindedness and judgements and misunderstanding. I DON"T want to be that kind of person. Maybe I do take things too seriously and I am uptight and prudish. Maybe that's not a bad thing. Maybe it is. Maybe I am a negative person and I just don't know how to express myself at all, let alone in a positive and assertive way so that I can NOT be bothered by such dumb things.
3 comments:
It IS YOUR BUSINESS!! And I am prudish and judgemental but that's not the point. If you could see the difference in my life and how things are now, you could see such a contrast. It's about morals or values or principles. And they are disappearing. It scares me that you might not even be able to keep your children, or nephews, or other loved ones, unspotted from the world. It might not even be possible. And a big part of it is, how can the better things in life be valued when they are so cheapened and degraded and made to look unimportant? Can you value anyone very much if they are so "low class"? (for want of a better word>) It does matter. Things and people are not precious when they are common and mundane. But Beermaiden teaches us that's okay anyway. I hate her. That it bothers you at least shows you still have a conscience and some spirituality in your heart. I hope you don't ever lose that.
I don't think you're being prudish either. It's a vile world out there without bringing it into your home. I totally understand where you're coming from being that I feel the same way about tv shows and such that are so explicit and I have a teenage boy and girl, my middle impressionable boy and then the twins, that are going to be so desensitized that I'll be labeled a prude. I've had to ban anything MTV ish... even most teen shows are bad. Its not just the games its everything, from radio, to commericals to cartoons.
It's going to be out there, we can't stop it, we can protect our homes from it the best we can and keep our values such that maybe, just maybe the kids will understand what's right and whats inappropriate. I feel intruded upon when some twenty something comes along flashing her goods and I'm with my boys... it's embarassing. I want them to think higher of women than the little tramps that are rampant today. I'm lucky that my daughter is modest, but she has a story all her own... that's a novel in itself.
I think you're doing fine and making sure you are in a peaceful uncorrupted environment. Home is a haven not a meat market...
Wow. Thank you both for your comments! I think I just need to feel... validated and like I'm not being stupid. So thanks for doing that. It's a crazy world out there and I just keep trying to assert myself and not get lost in it.
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