HDN4HVN

HDN4HVN, that's what I saw on a license plate on some big Hummer type thing in the lane to my left on the way to work. I tend to think that anyone who drives a Hummer must be big and tough and a bit self centered and wordly. I wouldn't think that the driver of this monstosity would have any thoughts of heaven and spiritual things. I'm so prejudiced.

A few weeks ago, Jeff and I had quite a talk about heaven. He had read something that said heaven will be where you are the happiest and most at peace. We then talked about where/what our heaven would be like.

Given that definition, it's not so far out to think of Hummer Driver heading for heaven. It was actually a rather delightful thought. What if we approached each day as if we were heading for heaven? And I don't mean in the self sacrificing, punishment, stict way that some church things make us think or feel. What was cool about mine and Jeff's conversation or seeing the Hummer was that heaven could be what we're living here. It wasn't a far out, someday thing. It could be here and now. It could be happy and joyful.

These are the thoughts I was having on the way to work. But now I've been here for an hour and a half and I listen to other people and... well, I just don't know what my problem is, but I think they are ALL wacked out and stupid and... oops, I better be careful what I'm typing in public. I recently started a new blog- like BennyK has one for philosophical stuff and his music one as well as his "basic" one- but I don't know (or haven't figured out) how to link it here. I get to them both here, but I don't know if anyone else can even see them??? Anyway, I called it my happy hippie journal (Jeff calls me his hippie girl and I quite like it. It means I'm free and casual and natural ....). I finally figured out one day that all these negative things I say about people and the world around me are just my attempt to assert myself and what I think and feel and believe in. I thought it was time to take a more positive approach to such assertions. But, here I am today and I can't stand to hear them talk!

I also try to talk about these things because I need someone to validate me. I need someone to support what I think is right even when it often feels so different than what the whole rest of the world believes in.

There's a girl at work that everyone gets annoyed by and kind of makes fun of when she's not around. Sometimes I can see that she's a bit different, but I don't see that she's weird or unlikeable, unless you're in a junior high frame of mind and judge people by their "coolness." I work a lot with this girl and as I get to know her, there is a lot to admire about her. You never know what makes people the way they are.

Maybe everyone makes fun of me when I'm not around too. For the first time in my life I truly don't care. I even find myself hoping that they do because that would mean I'm not like them.