Today I took Jeff to the doctor. He's had an ingrown toenail that needed to be taken care of. He'd had one removed on the other foot about 5 years ago so he knew a bit what to expect, but I didn't. He wanted someone there "to hold his hand" and I wanted to be there. Even after he'd told me about the experience before, I was a bit surprised that it was as big a deal as it was; his mom had told him he'd be okay to take himself so I guess I thought maybe it was silly of me to go with him.
They gave him laughing gas just so the shots that numb his toe wouldn't hurt so much. He has a hard time with needles and I could tell by his reaction these shots hurt A LOT. It was really hard to sit there thinking he feels pain and fear and I can do nothing. It was almost worse than anything I've had to have done to me because I couldn't take any of it on myself.
After the shots, his toe got very purple and very big very fast. The rest of it was gross, I didn't watch, but it didn't hurt him. After cutting out the toe nail, they had to put acid on it so that the nail won't grow back and there was a lot of blood even though they'd wrapped some kind of thing around his toe to keep it from bleeding much. EW!
Well, my point in writing this wasn't to share the gross stuff. Sorry. My point was how much love I felt for him seeing him in pain and not able to do anything but sit there and hold his arm. After the doctor, I took him to his dad's house so he can play video games with his brother who's out of school for the holiday and then I came to work. As I drove from there to work, I just had a really good feeling. A feeling of love I suppose. I was glad I'd taken the time off to be there with him. I would hate to think he went through that by himself.
And as silly as it sounds, the thought I had was that sometimes I feel good about myself because I've done something that is truly who I am. Teaching was like that. Holding babies is like that. And, just being there offering my support or strength to someone I care about so much was like that. It felt good to give something of myself. And I knew that I was where I should be and it's what I want to be doing with my life. Just loving those that matter, especially my husband and the baby that is on the way.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Kinda freaks me out
I just read an article in the paper about people setting up their own genetic labs as a hobby. Some people who studied biology in college or something and now want to discover the cure for who knows what or, no joke, the article really said this, a way to make glowing tattoos. People for it say the next genius may be out there but people against it say it's really dangerous. There is no safety system in place when people are just doing this out of their garage or basement and have no advance training. I'm with the latter. It kind of freaks me out.
Another article I read this morning made it sound like more and more women are choosing at home births with a midwife nurse because of the cost of going to the hospital. Yeah, that's smart. I'll just do it at home by myself and save some money. I have heard there is a trend to home births and birthing centers because it provides a more comfortable envoironment for mom and baby. People are against drugs when giving birth because of the harm they think it does to the baby. Again, I'm with the skeptics. We've come along way so I don't have to worry so much that my baby or I am going to die of some strange disease or complication simply because we don't know any better. My grandmothers went through a lot so I don't have to!
Not even the same thing, but just as annoying to me, in the last few days visiting various family for the holidays someone actually said to me "they say if your kids hate you, you're doing a good job." What kind of advice is that!?!?!?! She doesn't even have a bad kid that needs to be kept in line or taught a lesson. But, he IS a teenager now so you know how bad and rebellious they are and you have to keep them in control. Another mother handed her son a beer and told him it's okay to drink it because he's old enough now even though his wife doesn't want him to (she said it right in front of the wife, by the way).
Everyone is complaining about the snow today. Admittedly, it was a long drive to work this morning and I'm scared to even leave because it's going to be worse going home. Even more scary is walking through my work's parking lot. It was pure ice this morning and now if I fall, I'm not the only one who will be hurt. I almost sat back in my car and cried. That said, we do live in Utah, snow is part of the deal. If we just could all slow down...
I really want to go live in a small town and be a hermit. I've never wanted to shelter my kids, thinking that does more harm than good. But, I certainly wish I could protect them from all this crap. And I want to hide... for a while anyway. People are so stupid.
Another article I read this morning made it sound like more and more women are choosing at home births with a midwife nurse because of the cost of going to the hospital. Yeah, that's smart. I'll just do it at home by myself and save some money. I have heard there is a trend to home births and birthing centers because it provides a more comfortable envoironment for mom and baby. People are against drugs when giving birth because of the harm they think it does to the baby. Again, I'm with the skeptics. We've come along way so I don't have to worry so much that my baby or I am going to die of some strange disease or complication simply because we don't know any better. My grandmothers went through a lot so I don't have to!
Not even the same thing, but just as annoying to me, in the last few days visiting various family for the holidays someone actually said to me "they say if your kids hate you, you're doing a good job." What kind of advice is that!?!?!?! She doesn't even have a bad kid that needs to be kept in line or taught a lesson. But, he IS a teenager now so you know how bad and rebellious they are and you have to keep them in control. Another mother handed her son a beer and told him it's okay to drink it because he's old enough now even though his wife doesn't want him to (she said it right in front of the wife, by the way).
Everyone is complaining about the snow today. Admittedly, it was a long drive to work this morning and I'm scared to even leave because it's going to be worse going home. Even more scary is walking through my work's parking lot. It was pure ice this morning and now if I fall, I'm not the only one who will be hurt. I almost sat back in my car and cried. That said, we do live in Utah, snow is part of the deal. If we just could all slow down...
I really want to go live in a small town and be a hermit. I've never wanted to shelter my kids, thinking that does more harm than good. But, I certainly wish I could protect them from all this crap. And I want to hide... for a while anyway. People are so stupid.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas!
I don't know if I've ever read this as published. I loved it!
Perhaps the most famous, and popular, editorial of all time was written by Francis Pharcellus Church of The New York Sun and appeared on Sept. 21, 1897:
We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun :
Dear Editor,
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, If you see it in The Sun , it's so.
Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
--Virginia O'Hanlon
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to have men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Perhaps the most famous, and popular, editorial of all time was written by Francis Pharcellus Church of The New York Sun and appeared on Sept. 21, 1897:
We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun :
Dear Editor,
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, If you see it in The Sun , it's so.
Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
--Virginia O'Hanlon
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to have men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
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