There is a member of our family who is very needy. Sometimes it's hard to give to her because we feel like she expects too much and/or manipulates things. But, she is a good hearted, kind person.
I've been reading the Bible and Jesus didn't say love your neighbor only if they are lovable. He didn't say give charity only if it's convenient and the other person really deserves it. In fact, he said the opposite. He said not only to love our neighbors but to love our enemy. He said when someone asks a mile, "go with them twain." Even if you're sued in a court of law (which to me sounds pretty confrontational) and someone takes your coat, give them your cloak also. (Matthew 5:38-48)
It seems to me, we do a lot of explaining and justifying of ourselves. As with my family member, we think she needs tough love or doesn't deserve our compassion because she hasn't done enough to help herself. I'm not saying we should be taken advantage of or neglect ourselves, but I am saying we need to think more about it and give more charity and act in more faith.
I think our religion is one that teaches goals, hard work and independence. In a general sense, I think our American culture is based on the idea that God helps those who help themselves. I've heard it explained as a Puritan ideal- work hard and earn your blessings to prove that you are favored of God.
But again, this is not what the Bible says.
Perhaps it's just whats on my mind lately but I am really amazed as I read how unwordly Jesus' message is. I've aways know that but as I try to apply it to my life where I'm at now? I understand why he would address us as "ye of little faith."
As we try to come terms with his teaching, we justify and explain it all away. We are told to keep the sabbath day holy, but how many of us think it's okay to get called in to work or take the shift because we have to provide for our families? I'm not judging because we do what we have to do. I'm just trying to point out that when it really comes down to it, acting on faith is harder than what we were taught in primary.
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you."
I believe the kingdom of God is our own home and families. This of course easily extends to helping our neighbors, doing missionary work, serving in the church, even acting with integrity at our jobs. But I think that his KINGDOM is in our homes.
As a woman, to seek first the kingdom of God means I will make a home that is happy, spiritual, uplifting. I will care for and support my husband, recognizing the different roles, characteristics, and needs men and women have. I will have children and teach them all that I know and help them to have confidence and courage and to be good, honest people.
If I focus on these things, if I seek them first- as in the forefront of my mind, heart, and actions, I will need not "take thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.
For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
If God so clothe the grass of the field... shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?"
(Matthew 6:24-34)
So, as the bills pile up and money is something we just don't have, my Puritan genes tell me I must work harder, that I'm shirking my duties and before I'm even pregnant with my first baby, I feel doomed. Healthy meals get set aside for convenience. Family prayer, dinner, even playtime for the dog get interrupted and neglected because I'm too tired. I sometimes even feel disconnected from my home and it's just a place I go after work.
But what I need to do is focus more on these things. Seek them first and have faith. Not work more for money and bills. Seek the baby first and have faith that God will provide.
Work for the kingdom of God.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Filters
What a week this has been!
I'm sitting here now, just stealing a minute to clear my head and catch my breath. Phewf! I'm too tired and emotionally drained to read any real news, so I clicked onto something on the MNS webpage. Can't even remember what or why. Anyway, I was reading some article about relationships and looking at the other articles it had linked on the page. Phooey! What a bunch of crap. I wondered why we think any of these people really know anything? Then I realized how easily I filter some things but other things just kinda stick in my head. There are some people who I give no credence to at all! If they were to give me advice or even if I just over heard their opinions on certain topics, I wouldn't give it a care in the world, unless of course it was to think how off the mark they are or realize what a different world they live in. But then I'll read the same kind of thing in a magazine written by some "expert" and think the world is falling apart. I better watch my thoughts more closely. It's funny how every once in a while I have to remind myself that you can't believe everything you read. And even if you do and even if it's true, it doesn't mean it has to be part of your world. Just toss it out with the trash.
I'm sitting here now, just stealing a minute to clear my head and catch my breath. Phewf! I'm too tired and emotionally drained to read any real news, so I clicked onto something on the MNS webpage. Can't even remember what or why. Anyway, I was reading some article about relationships and looking at the other articles it had linked on the page. Phooey! What a bunch of crap. I wondered why we think any of these people really know anything? Then I realized how easily I filter some things but other things just kinda stick in my head. There are some people who I give no credence to at all! If they were to give me advice or even if I just over heard their opinions on certain topics, I wouldn't give it a care in the world, unless of course it was to think how off the mark they are or realize what a different world they live in. But then I'll read the same kind of thing in a magazine written by some "expert" and think the world is falling apart. I better watch my thoughts more closely. It's funny how every once in a while I have to remind myself that you can't believe everything you read. And even if you do and even if it's true, it doesn't mean it has to be part of your world. Just toss it out with the trash.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Not SO negative Nancy
Monday was a busier Monday than I've had in a while, and that's saying a lot. Tuesday and Wednesday haven't slowed down much either. I feel at any given moment that there are a million things I'm doing and supposed to keep track of. I don't like that feeling. It makes me not like what I'm doing and get mad at my job and wonder what the point is.
I tried on Monday to be constructive about my criticism and have a good attitude. My thoughts and attitude really do make a difference and, even though it's hard, I'm learning to control them at least a little.
Through Monday and into Tuesday, when I found myself feeling like "I hate my job," I tried to ask myself what it is I don't like. When I felt like I was so stressed I could cry or scream, I realized I didn't have to feel that way. It is just a job and it's not worth getting so frazzled over. This helped. I thought that maybe if I could identify real things I don't like, not just say I'm stressed and crazy, I would be able to change it, fix it, or at least ask for help.
1. I don't like the feeling of stress and feeling like there is more to do than I can get done. I am a very responsible person and I take it seriously when I have a job to do. I don't always like that feeling. Monday, there was TOO much to do.
2. A lot of people have needed my help this week. I like helping people. I also have a hard time saying no or setting limits. I feel like people were asking things of me that are not my job and other people were asking me things that they should be able to do by themself. I don't like feeling like I'm doing it because someone else is too lazy or, frankly, dumb to do it themself. I don't like feeling like if I don't do it, it's not going to get done.
3. Kind of the same thing, but I really don't like feeling unrecognized and unappreciated. I don't like it when I'm going out of my way and really doing more than my share to help someone and they treat me like they just expect it. When I'm running myself ragged to help them and they don't even realize it. Is this pride? I kind of don't like that I feel this way. It's like I want recognition or something and I don't think (or want to think) that's why I do things. But, sometimes, I really feel like no one has any clue how much work I'm doing and that's very frustrating and overwhelming and lonely.
So, it is a bit constructive to try to logicate (hahaha- great word!) these feelings. I can see that what I don't like isn't coming so much from this particular job, but in how I look at and respond to things. Any job would probably be the same. That helps.
It also makes me think of things I could use help with or make some changes with. At least there is action in that thought rather than just being overwhelmed by emotion, legitimate as it may be.
I tried on Monday to be constructive about my criticism and have a good attitude. My thoughts and attitude really do make a difference and, even though it's hard, I'm learning to control them at least a little.
Through Monday and into Tuesday, when I found myself feeling like "I hate my job," I tried to ask myself what it is I don't like. When I felt like I was so stressed I could cry or scream, I realized I didn't have to feel that way. It is just a job and it's not worth getting so frazzled over. This helped. I thought that maybe if I could identify real things I don't like, not just say I'm stressed and crazy, I would be able to change it, fix it, or at least ask for help.
1. I don't like the feeling of stress and feeling like there is more to do than I can get done. I am a very responsible person and I take it seriously when I have a job to do. I don't always like that feeling. Monday, there was TOO much to do.
2. A lot of people have needed my help this week. I like helping people. I also have a hard time saying no or setting limits. I feel like people were asking things of me that are not my job and other people were asking me things that they should be able to do by themself. I don't like feeling like I'm doing it because someone else is too lazy or, frankly, dumb to do it themself. I don't like feeling like if I don't do it, it's not going to get done.
3. Kind of the same thing, but I really don't like feeling unrecognized and unappreciated. I don't like it when I'm going out of my way and really doing more than my share to help someone and they treat me like they just expect it. When I'm running myself ragged to help them and they don't even realize it. Is this pride? I kind of don't like that I feel this way. It's like I want recognition or something and I don't think (or want to think) that's why I do things. But, sometimes, I really feel like no one has any clue how much work I'm doing and that's very frustrating and overwhelming and lonely.
So, it is a bit constructive to try to logicate (hahaha- great word!) these feelings. I can see that what I don't like isn't coming so much from this particular job, but in how I look at and respond to things. Any job would probably be the same. That helps.
It also makes me think of things I could use help with or make some changes with. At least there is action in that thought rather than just being overwhelmed by emotion, legitimate as it may be.
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