Yesterday, Grandma had a doctor show on t.v. as I was going back and forth with the baby. "Up next" was going to be a new method for getting rid of stretch marks that "really works." I was truly saddened by this.
As the preview said, I had stretch marks going through puberty that I hated. But gladly, they faded and I learned to accept myself etc.
Now I have stretch marks on my belly from having a baby and I honestly am proud of them. Not the kind of proud like wear a bikini and not care what people think proud. But proud that my body has accomplished something so miraculous and amazing and beautiful. Why get rid of that? Why hide it and be ashamed of it? It's a part of me- a physical sign of where I've been and what I've done.
I've never been so in love with and proud of my body as I am now.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
(A bit scattered) Bless those that hurt you
Jesus said love everyone. Even our enemies. Curse them that hate you. Forgive those that trespass against you etc. I have been able to understand this to a certain extent. I don't wish bad on anyone. I can see wanting to share the gospel with those that we think are "bad" or "evil." But what about when it gets personal?
I always wondered about people who have really been wronged- if someone murdered a family member, what would it mean to forgive? Certainly, forgiveness is also for the person doing the forgiving; it's not good to carry hurt and anger etc. There are certain sins that I find unforgivable and in this regard just try not to think about, child abuse for example.
But what of smaller things that we all probably deal with? What if your enemy is someone hurting you or threatening your family? And I don't mean someone breaking in your house or some traumatic experience. I mean the things we deal with on a more subtle level. Someone so demanding of your time that it takes away from your family. Someone with a bad spirit who brings bad feelings to you or your children. Perhaps forgiveness isn't really the topic, but my question is something like that.
Can I pray FOR my enemies, while still praying that they go away? Can I bless those that are hurting me while still hoping for justice?
I always wondered about people who have really been wronged- if someone murdered a family member, what would it mean to forgive? Certainly, forgiveness is also for the person doing the forgiving; it's not good to carry hurt and anger etc. There are certain sins that I find unforgivable and in this regard just try not to think about, child abuse for example.
But what of smaller things that we all probably deal with? What if your enemy is someone hurting you or threatening your family? And I don't mean someone breaking in your house or some traumatic experience. I mean the things we deal with on a more subtle level. Someone so demanding of your time that it takes away from your family. Someone with a bad spirit who brings bad feelings to you or your children. Perhaps forgiveness isn't really the topic, but my question is something like that.
Can I pray FOR my enemies, while still praying that they go away? Can I bless those that are hurting me while still hoping for justice?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Win the battle, win the war?
The other day we were struggling with a lot of stuff. I sat outside with the baby just trying to remember to breathe. I prayed and basically said, "if I'm going to lose the battle and everything's just going to fall apart anyway, please just let it hurry and happen." The thought came quite quickly to me "then what's the point of fighting the battle?" The idea of a battle isn't actually how I started to pray. I was asking about some very specific things going on in our life, I just want to leave that out here. The battle idea came in the answer.
It seems to me that we are taught to choose the right, pray for everything, follow God's plan... all the things we want our children to know is true and out there. But it seems to me that it so easily leads to thinking that things are set in stone. If I choose the wrong job, school, outfit :), I might just mess up my eternal destiny. Destiny. What does that word mean and does it even exist? What I learned in this prayer, and what I seem to continue to learn in life, is that it's not all set. I suddenly remembered that there is this ongoing war between good and evil/right and wrong and THAT's why it's important to "choose the right." Not right like on a multiple choice test, but right in the sense of what are you fighting for? What are you defending and pursuing?
If God knows the answer and the outcome, it's hard to want to figure it out ourselves. But isn't that the point of life? In my situation, it's not destined that certain things happen or not. What is destined is that I'm at this point making these decisions and I have to decide to keep fighting or not. How I'm going to fight. What I'm fighting for.
I guess this is still a bit vague without specific examples. But it helped me to think that I'm not being overcome by my surroundings, but actually trying to serve God just by living my life. And my life, my family, my desires and values ARE worth fighting for.
With a little bit of faith, we might just win the war.
It seems to me that we are taught to choose the right, pray for everything, follow God's plan... all the things we want our children to know is true and out there. But it seems to me that it so easily leads to thinking that things are set in stone. If I choose the wrong job, school, outfit :), I might just mess up my eternal destiny. Destiny. What does that word mean and does it even exist? What I learned in this prayer, and what I seem to continue to learn in life, is that it's not all set. I suddenly remembered that there is this ongoing war between good and evil/right and wrong and THAT's why it's important to "choose the right." Not right like on a multiple choice test, but right in the sense of what are you fighting for? What are you defending and pursuing?
If God knows the answer and the outcome, it's hard to want to figure it out ourselves. But isn't that the point of life? In my situation, it's not destined that certain things happen or not. What is destined is that I'm at this point making these decisions and I have to decide to keep fighting or not. How I'm going to fight. What I'm fighting for.
I guess this is still a bit vague without specific examples. But it helped me to think that I'm not being overcome by my surroundings, but actually trying to serve God just by living my life. And my life, my family, my desires and values ARE worth fighting for.
With a little bit of faith, we might just win the war.
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