Life is interesting to me. How much do you think we really choose in it? I think I no longer believe in fate, destiny, etc. (Sorry to be so unromantical Katherina). But I definitely believe in divine intervention.
Lately I've been thinking that there is no set path. That the things that seem "meant to be" may be answers to our prayers, but not necessarily destined answers. So maybe we need to just pray and think about the situations we're in. Maybe things change.
I've always said maybe life is an essay test, not multiple choice/ right or wrong. As long as you can reason your way through it and justify your answers, you'll get the credit. At least partial credit.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
New Year Yawping
Well, it seems that everyone is talking resolutions and lists and goals, so I might as well join in.
It's funny, last new year I decided to leave the old year in the past. I wanted to let go of a few people/situations that gave me heart ache and move on with my life. I even wrote it down and said specific things that I wasn't going to think about anymore.
To some extent it worked. But funny enough, every one of those things came back into my life in some form or another. What's that about? So much for leaving them behind.
Maybe it goes back to my blog about justifying a scream. Maybe I really wanted a chance to defend myself and scream at those people and/or situations. And, I'm proud to say, I have.
I feel I have been quite true to myself and saying what I needed to say and didn't get a chance the first time. Granted, not every situation goes just as we plan it, but I done good. So perhaps my goal for 2005 is to
SOUND MY BARBARIC YAWP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's funny, last new year I decided to leave the old year in the past. I wanted to let go of a few people/situations that gave me heart ache and move on with my life. I even wrote it down and said specific things that I wasn't going to think about anymore.
To some extent it worked. But funny enough, every one of those things came back into my life in some form or another. What's that about? So much for leaving them behind.
Maybe it goes back to my blog about justifying a scream. Maybe I really wanted a chance to defend myself and scream at those people and/or situations. And, I'm proud to say, I have.
I feel I have been quite true to myself and saying what I needed to say and didn't get a chance the first time. Granted, not every situation goes just as we plan it, but I done good. So perhaps my goal for 2005 is to
SOUND MY BARBARIC YAWP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Slippery Slope
It seems the best and worst of life come in December. The pretty snow fall, being warm and cozy, Christmas lights and spirituality. But also the harsh cold, slipping on the ice, battling the crowds that really have nothing to do with the Christmas spirit and getting sick.
I was so excited for it to snow- the view of my apartment's courtyard (I guess that's what you call it) is awesome. I love to be in a warm house watching it snow.
But I don't like driving in it. And I don't like walking in it. I'm afraid of falling. That's my real fear behind my fear of heights- falling to my death. But even slipping on the ice is an excrutiating experience! It hurts to lose so much control so fast, even if only for a moment.
It's like me. I want to go ice-skating, but I'm too afraid I'll fall.
Lately I feel at my best. I'm stepping in to this new life that I have been working so hard to find for the last two years. I'm learning to love myself and what I'm doing. To accept that I love it and quit looking for change. But just when I get that high, I feel a fear of falling. Not failure, it's just that things are slippery. I'm afraid of losing so much control so fast. If I let my guard down and enjoy the moment, I may fall to my death. Have you ever wanted to make a "mistake"- just to see what it feels like?
I was so excited for it to snow- the view of my apartment's courtyard (I guess that's what you call it) is awesome. I love to be in a warm house watching it snow.
But I don't like driving in it. And I don't like walking in it. I'm afraid of falling. That's my real fear behind my fear of heights- falling to my death. But even slipping on the ice is an excrutiating experience! It hurts to lose so much control so fast, even if only for a moment.
It's like me. I want to go ice-skating, but I'm too afraid I'll fall.
Lately I feel at my best. I'm stepping in to this new life that I have been working so hard to find for the last two years. I'm learning to love myself and what I'm doing. To accept that I love it and quit looking for change. But just when I get that high, I feel a fear of falling. Not failure, it's just that things are slippery. I'm afraid of losing so much control so fast. If I let my guard down and enjoy the moment, I may fall to my death. Have you ever wanted to make a "mistake"- just to see what it feels like?
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